Hello!

[wellinghall]

I'm feeling cut-off ... no email, no Facebook, no access to anyone else's LJ ... and I'm going to be late home tonight because of a physio appointment! So please, make a comment - say hello, give me a wave, tell me a joke, tell me something to distract me, offer to mow the lawn - anything!

Comments

[scribblerworks.livejournal.com]

Two pals, a carrot and a cat, were walking along the side of the road having a nice conversation. A car comes racing by and hits the carrot and drives on, leaving the carrot bleeding carrot juice all over the place. His pal the cat is very upset, still anxious about his friend when the paramedics arrive. They bundle up the carrot and rush him to the hospital. His pal the cat spends hours waiting anxiously, pacing all over the waiting room while the surgery was done on his friend.

Finally, the doctor comes out of the operating room. "How is he, doc!" exclaims the cat. The doctor pulls off his surgery cap, weary from the hours of work. "I have good news and bad news," he says. "The good news is that your friend will pull through. The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable!"

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

A man takes his guinea pig to the vet. The vet takes it into the surgery, examines it, and says, "I'm sorry, it's terminal. We'll have to put him down." The chap bursts into floods of tears, and asks if he can have a second opinion.

So the vet leads a black labrador into the surgery. It sniffs the guinea pig, shakes its head, and walks out. The vet says, "See, the dog agrees. I'm sorry, sir, but there really is no choice." The chap again starts crying, and says, "Isn't there anything you can do?"

So the vet brings in a siamese cat. The cat peers intently at the guinea pig; opens its mouth and looks in; goes round to the other end, lifts up its tail, and has a look. It then shakes its head, and stalks out. The vet says, "I'm sorry, sir, but all the signs point the same way. We really will have to put your pet down."

Reluctantly, the owner agrees. As he's on his way out, the vert presents him with a bill for £1,600. The man says, "£1,600? That's outrageous!"

The vet says, "Well sir, that's £100 for my time, £500 for the lab test, and £1,000 for the cat scan."