wellinghall (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wellinghall) wrote2012-11-02 01:40 pm
wellinghall) wrote2012-11-02 01:40 pm
Actuarial jokes
f(x)=6x+3 walks into a bar.
“Got any sandwiches?” f(x)=6x+3 asks the barman.
“Sorry,” he replies, “We don’t cater for functions.”
Top 6 things you will never hear an actuary say:
6. I have a hot date tonight.
5. I got a lot out of that marketing meeting.
4. Our prices are too high.
3. Just throw out that large loss; it’ll never happen again.
2. We’ve got to take more chances here.
1. We can expect your favourable trend to continue indefinitely.
Q: Why does a heavy metal fan want to become an actuary?
A: He wants to be paid for predicting death and destruction.
“Got any sandwiches?” f(x)=6x+3 asks the barman.
“Sorry,” he replies, “We don’t cater for functions.”
Top 6 things you will never hear an actuary say:
6. I have a hot date tonight.
5. I got a lot out of that marketing meeting.
4. Our prices are too high.
3. Just throw out that large loss; it’ll never happen again.
2. We’ve got to take more chances here.
1. We can expect your favourable trend to continue indefinitely.
Q: Why does a heavy metal fan want to become an actuary?
A: He wants to be paid for predicting death and destruction.