Jokes

[wellinghall]

Please share a joke you've heard recently. I suppose I should ask you to keep it reasonably decent ...

Comments

[gramarye1971]

I just told this one recently, and the person I told it to threatened to throw fruit at me. ^_^

Q: Why is it so difficult to find medicine for a headache in the jungle?
A: Because the parrots eat 'em all.

(It won't really make sense unless you say the last four words fairly quickly. *grins*)

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

Groan!

[helflaed.livejournal.com]

Did you hear about the metric cat?

It had a litre of kittens......

[bunn.livejournal.com]

Haven't got a joke. Have some Doo Wop Horses instead.
http://svt.se/hogafflahage/hogafflaHage_site/Kor/hestekor.swf

[pellegrina.livejournal.com]

This one's from na_lon:
Q: What do you call a polar bear on a tropical island?
A: Lost.

[skordh.livejournal.com]

I have to say, those Doo Wop Horses are excellent! Sorry, I can't think of any jokes at present.

[beckyc.livejournal.com]

:-D I like it.

(Must remember to set the tape for tonight's episode)

[estiel.livejournal.com]

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire
herself out as a handyman, and started canvassing a
well-to-do housing estate. She went to the front door
of the first house and asked the owner if he had any
jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you
charge ?"
The blonde after looking about, said, "How about 50
quid ?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and other
materials that she might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the
conversation and said to her husband "Does she realise
that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied: "She should, she was standing on it.
Do you think she's dumb ?"
"No. I guess I'm guilty of being influenced by all the
'dumb blonde' jokes."
Some time later the blonde came to the door to collect
her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes" the blonde replied, "and I had paint left over,
so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the
five ten pound notes.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch,
it's a Jaguar."

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

George Eliot wrote an imperial / metric conversion guide.

The ml on the fl oz.