Book titles

[wellinghall]

Complete the book titles, without using the original words. Marks will be given for style, wit and humour.

1. Last Bus to ...
2. Foundation and ...
3. The Mists of ...
4. Why didn't they ask ...
5. Unfinished ...
6. The Warrior's ...
7. The Lion, the Witch and the ...
8. The Eagle has ...
9. Stranger in a Strange ...
10. Childhood's ...

Comments

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

Last Bus to Alpha Centauri (a crossover between On the Buses and Star Wars, in which an evil overlord, fallen on hard times, takes a job as a bus conductor)

Foundation and Umpires (the biography of a reality TV celebrity famous for her heavy make-up and her serial dalliances with cricketers.)

The Mists of Basingstoke (Arthurian legend updated to modern suburbia, in which King Arthur is the managing director of a medium-sized dry cleaning business.)

Why didn't they ask for more hamsters? (Why? Why? If only they'd done so, tragedy would have been averted.)

Unfinished Prunes (a parent's lament at her child's refusal to eat healthy food.)

The Warrior's Tutu (a moving tale about one man who dared defy gender stereotyping, and who showed that hard men can twirl on tippy-toes while wearing pink satin, and can still be an effective front-line soldier.)

The Lion, the Witch and the Llama (a failed first draft)

The Eagle has Fifty-seven Sausages (the story of the Isle of Wight's doomed attempt to make it as an independent player in the world of international espionage. The title refers to the code phrase agents were instructed to use, which, far from making them blend in and be unnoticed, caused them to stick out like sore thumbs wherever they went.)

Stranger in a Strange Poodle (the story of a tragic love between a tape worm and a flea)

"Childhood"'s not a word in the title of this book (a rather bad book of rather lame logic problems.)

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

All as good as I would expect from you!

ETA: In fact, I pronounce you and the_marquis joint winners!

[megamole.livejournal.com]

1. Last Bus to Drive over the White Cliffs of Dover
2. Foundation and Underpinning for Beginner Architects
3. The Mists of Methane Emitted By Politicians
4. Why didn't they ask the right question?
5. Unfinished Sympho
6. The Warrior's Run Away
7. The Lion, the Witch and the Personal Injury Claim
8. The Eagle has Become Extinct
9. Stranger in a Strange Undergarment
10. Childhood's All Very Well, but you Wouldn't Like the Neighbours

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

I like them :-)

Very well.

[wemyss.livejournal.com]

1. Last Bus to ... Glastonbury

2. Foundation and ... dissolution: the Tudors and the monastic orders

3. The Mists of ... Islay: vol. 1: Ardbeg

4. Why didn’t they ask ... Tom Watson about those emails?

5. Unfinished ... woodworking tips

6. ‘The Warrior’s ... a tied house, dear. Try the Horse and Waggon for real ales’: a CAMRA guidebook

7. The Lion, the Witch and the ... Husband: how Cherie Blair helped bugger up Britain (by Dan Hannan)

8. The Eagle has ... hasn’t he, just

9. Stranger in a Strange ... Cabinet and a Damned Odd Party: the Life of Lord Mandelson

10. Childhood’s ... over, get on yer bike, you bloody bolshie protestors: a Norman Tebbit anthology

Re: Very well.

[tree_and_leaf]

While I do not necessarily subscribe to such views, 10 does make me laugh. As does 8.

Re: Very well.

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

All very good! :-)

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

I like number 8 in particular :-)

[miss-next.livejournal.com]

1. Last Bus to Rigel.

2. Foundation and Powder.

3. The Mists of Mystery.

4. Why didn't they ask God?

5. Unfinished Edges.

6. The Warrior's Secret Hankering to Become a Geek.

7. The Lion, the Witch and the Analogy.

8. The Eagle has Had Enough.

9. Stranger in a Strange Hat.

10. Childhood's Overrated.

[garamondbophin.livejournal.com]

Can I be the Stranger in a Strange Hat, please? (Well, I did wear my deerstalker as a disguise on the recent protest days...)

[miss-next.livejournal.com]

Of course you may! I am always delighted with strange hats, having a fair collection of them myself.

And your username makes me squee altogether, since Garamond has been my favourite font since I was a very small girl. It's the italics. They're just lovely. :-)

[garamondbophin.livejournal.com]

Well, hello...

[miss-next.livejournal.com]

*grin* Aww, bless you! I should make my own hat icon now. :-)

[miss-t-ide.livejournal.com]

1. Last Bus to ... take fare-paying passengers.

2. Foundation and ... blusher - a guide to applying make-up.

3. The Mists of ... Manchester.

4. Why didn't they ask ... the way? Because they were men!

5. Unfinished ... ...

6. The Warrior's ... feet hurt.

7. The Lion, the Witch and the ... missing persons investigation.

8. The Eagle has ... eaten.

9. Stranger in a Strange ... book.

10. Childhood's ... wasted on children.

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

I like them :-)

[segh.livejournal.com]

1. Last Bus to Cobbler's End, or why it is no longer economic to make shoes by hand.

2. Foundation and Superstructure - a history of undergarments

3. The Mists of Mist Hall, a family saga.

4. Why didn't they ask 118118?

5. Unfinished furniture - how Ikea took over the world.

6. The Warrior's Handbook (the one that explains which end of a sword you stick in people)

7. The Lion, the Witch and the small green creatures from Alpha Centauri

8. The Eagle has laid a pigeon's egg

9. Stranger in a Strange Title

10. Childhood's development - a study of headgear

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

I like 4 and 6 in particular. 8 reminds me of "Bored of the Rings", where Arowroot is given a plover's egg the size of a diamond ...

[the-marquis.livejournal.com]

1. Last Bus to the Depot gets the beers in ... Gene Hunt takes on fare dodgers, an offbeat novel in the new series of tie-in titles with BBC TV's "Ashes to Ashes"

2. Foundation and Constitution: A How to Guide for those setting up a new regional body within the EU

3. The Mists of Mongolia - A Traveller's Guide to seeing things off the tourist track (remaindered).

4. Why didn't they ask how much I earned? Collected stories from the trailer trash at the very bottom of the toxic-mortgage problem. Micheal Moore

5. Unfinished dinners - tomorrow's Lunch: Housekeeping Tips for the Credit Crunch

6. The Warrior's Ruddy Broken Down Again! (Life with the Mechanics in Afghanistan)

7. The Lion, the Witch and the Copyright Lawyer - How Harry Potter Fans tried to produce an encyclopaedia, and lost.

8. The Eagle has My Toupee - Bill Oddie's Tales of birdwatchers misfortunes

9. Stranger in a Strange: EJ Thribb tries for Kafkaesque in a bid to win the Booker

10. Childhood's Bloody Wasted on Kids: a Parenting Guide for those trying to cope with the Modern Teenager

[didiusjulianus.livejournal.com]

#10: my order is in the post.

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

Those are marvellous! - especially 1 and 6.

ETA: In fact, I pronounce you and ladyofastolat joint winners!

[emperor]

2. subsidence
3. cannabis smoke
4. Your momma
5.
6. arthritis
7. unsubtle metaphor
8. soared
9. quark
10. over, so stop angsting and get on with your life

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

I like 7 and 9 :-)

[rosathome.livejournal.com]

1. Last Bus To Leave Tonight Left Ten Minutes Ago.
2. Foundation and Foundation and Foundation: Tony Blair's Speech Edits.
3. The Mists of Mistiness, they are Misty.
4. Why Didn't They Ask Before They Invaded Iraq?
5. Unfinished Plates Get No Pudding.
6. The Warrior's Had Enough Now.
7. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wonky Cupboard Behind the Back Stairs.
8. The Eagle has Feathers
9. Stranger in a Strange Swirly Mirror
10. Childhood's Better Than the Alternative.

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

2, 4 and 5 are very good :-)

[philmophlegm.livejournal.com]

1. Last Bus to Not Blow up Your CPU: Or Why You Should Overclock Your PC in Small Increments

2. Foundation and Ampere: A Course in Basic Electronics

3. The Mists of St John's Wood: The MCC Book of Bad Light Stopped Play

4. Why didn't they ask Aspel?

5. Unfinished Tails: The Manx Cat

6. The Warrior's Dragonsword of Foebane, by Nigel R.R. Hickman, ninth book in the New York Times bestselling 'Mydandcampaignwriteuppia' series. "Comparable to Tolkien at his best."

7. The Lion, the Witch and the Wildebeeste: Logic Puzzles for Corporate Team Building Days

8. The Eagle has Band-Aid: First Aid for Raptors

9. Stranger in a Strange Band: How Ringo Joined the Beatles

10. Childhood's GiantAxe of EnemyKill: fourteenth book in the New York Times bestselling 'Mybigbrothersdandcampaignwriteuppia' series. "Comparable to Hickman at his best."

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

Those are great; I especially like 1, 4 and 5.

[didiusjulianus.livejournal.com]

Apols for any duplications, deliberately doing it before reading others'.

1. Last Bus to ... Warrington - the memoirs of Kerry Katona Part 364.

2. Foundation and ... Lipliner, the essential guide.

3. The Mists of ... Honah Lee.

4. Why didn't they ask ... me to rule the world instead?

5. Unfinished ... . The tale of a life cut short.

6. The Warrior's ... Warrior.

7. The Lion, the Witch and the ... Bouncy Castle.

8. The Eagle has ... Talons.

9. Stranger in a Strange ... Mood.

10. Childhood's ... Returned Early. The jottings of didiusjulianus aged 27 1/2.

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

I like 3 in particular :-)