Woad

[wellinghall]

What's the use of wearing braces?
Vests and pants and boots with laces?
Spats and hats you buy in places
Down the Brompton Road?


What's the use of shirts of cotton?
Studs that always get forgotten?
These affairs are simply rotten,
Better far is woad.

Woad's the stuff to show men.
Woad to scare your foemen.
Boil it to a brilliant hue
And rub it on your back and your abdomen.

Ancient Briton ne'er did hit on
Anything as good as woad to fit on
Neck or knees or where you sit on.
Tailors you be blowed!!

Romans came across the channel
All dressed up in tin and flannel
Half a pint of woad per man'll
Dress us more than these.

Saxons you can waste your stitches
Building beds for bugs in britches
We have woad to clothe us which is
Not a nest for fleas

Romans keep your armours.
Saxons your pyjamas.
Hairy coats were made for goats,
Gorillas, yaks, retriever dogs and llamas.

Tramp up Snowdon with your woad on,
Never mind if you get rained or blowed on
Never want a button sewed on.
Go it Ancient Bs!!

http://www.scarthinbooks.com/brewup.shtml, indirectly found as a result of a link posted by ladyofastolat

Comments

[lil-shepherd.livejournal.com]

Not capping this, because like most Flanders and Swan, it cannot be capped, particularly when sung by a drunken crowd of Vikings. However, to show that this is not the only view...

And this only goes to show I ought to check, because it isn't by F&S but by someone called William Hope Jones. Mea culpa.

However, the words to this were certainly written by smallship1.

WOAD WARRIOR

(Tune by Valerie Housden, words by Zander Nyrond)

CHORUS
Blue paint running down my shoulders,
Blue paint dripping off my elbows and my knees.
Blue paint coming off on everything that I touch--
When this war is done, can we have a little peace?

Now our gods' tempers are notoriously short
And they fight with each other all day long.
But once in a while they gang up on some foe
Who they fancy has done them some wrong.
Now our gods could destroy them in five seconds flat
But that, after all, would not be fair:
So it's our sacred duty to smite them instead
And again the smell of woad fills the air.

And there'll be, [CHORUS]

When our gods command us to take to the field
There are certain things that we have to do.
We must strip to the buff, winter, summer, rain or shine,
And then paint ourselves all over bright blue.
I don't know how they make it, but I always know when,
For the odour alone would knock you dead,
And it takes all my courage to stand on the spot
When they pour it all over my head.

And then there's, [CHORUS]

And when battle's over and we have come home
It is then that the real fun begins:
For we've yet to invent a reliable way
Of removing the stuff from our skins.
We leave blue prints indelibly all over the place
But it doesn't seem to lessen the stain:
And a subtle blend of sand crystals, quicklime and lye
Opens up new horizons in pain.

But still leaves, [CHORUS]

Now I don't object to a good healthy scrap,
I can break people's heads with the best.
But the smell of this woad brings my hayfever on
And I get this nasty rash on my chest.
Now I know that the paint is a sacred device
So our gods above can tell which is who:
But if I have to fight with the stuff on my skin
I won't be the only one feeling blue!

When I've got, [CHORUS]

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

I was thinking, "I didn't know it was by Flanders & Swann ... " ;-)

[megamole.livejournal.com]

Written, I believe, by a master at Eton.

[mirabehn.livejournal.com]

And according to a reliable source of mine, to the tune of "Men of Harlech".

Written, I believe, by a master at Eton.

... is it me or is that rather dodgy??!

[the-marquis.livejournal.com]

Nod, nod, when I've heard it it has been sung to "Men of Harlech".

[firin.livejournal.com]

Indeed - we used to sing it frequently at the Oxford Arthurian Society to that tune.

I'd partially forgotten it, so thanks for the reminder, Wellinghall!

[the-marquis.livejournal.com]

Hmm by the late 90s I don't know if anyone other than Nasciens or parrot_knight would have known to sing it, I don't recall it from then.

Hmm need Arthurian Icon

Edit to fix icon

[pellegrina.livejournal.com]

I certainly knew it and it was regularly sung on pilgrimages into the mid-90s, but I don't think I ever managed to remember all the words without the Songbook. (The only one I learned off entirely by heart is Matty Groves and that is probably because it would often be sung twice in a row with a different cast at banquets.)

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

Indeed. It was sung a lot at least up until 1994. I bracket it in my mind with Matty Groves, Wild Rover, I'm a Rover, Pervert's Trousers and the Civil War Song as the most oft-sung Arthurian songs. (For which you should probably read: the songs I still know off by heart.) Pellinor still sings it quite a bit at Morris singalongs, which is probably why I think of it as a song that "everyone" knows. That's the same "everyone" that I expect to know Matty Groves, mind you. ;-)

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

It's chiefly king_pellinor that I know it from.

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

It's chiefly king_pellinor that I know it from.

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

Nice icon!

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

You are very welcome! :-)

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

Agreed (even if I couldn't remember the name of the tune yesterday!)

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

And according to a reliable source of mine, to the tune of "Men of Harlech".

Agreed (even if I couldn't remember the name of the tune yesterday!)

... is it me or is that rather dodgy??!

And agreed to that, too!

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

I didn't know that!

[mirrorshard.livejournal.com]

To be sung to the tune of "Men of Harlech".

[mirabehn.livejournal.com]

Oh, hello reliable source. Fancy seeing you here. :-)

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

:-)

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

Agreed (even if I couldn't remember the name of the tune yesterday!)

[the-marquis.livejournal.com]

I remember it from Haberdasher singing it in Univ bar during an Oxonmoot party back in the 90s

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

It's chiefly king_pellinor that I know it from.

[gurthaew.livejournal.com]

Is that a prime example of woad rage?

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

*groans*

[segh.livejournal.com]

My papa used to sing it, he learnt it in the army, but he used to sing "Down the Old Kent Road". That may have been to tease my mama (who came from there) though.

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

Possibly!

[philmophlegm.livejournal.com]

Wrexham AFC's club song, sold as a single locally during the club's 1978 FA Cup run (they got to the quarter-finals as a 3rd division side that year). Same tune, different words:



Here they come our mighty champions
raise your voices to the anthem,
Marching like a mighty army,
Wrexham is the name.

See the ‘Reds’ who fight together
speak their names with pride forever
Marching like a mighty army,
Wrexham is the name.

Chorus
Fearless in devotion
rising to promotion
Rising to the ranks of mighty heroes
fighting foes in every land.

History only tells the story
We are here to see your glory.

Stand aside
the Reds are coming
Wrexham is the name.

We have made the mighty humble
we have made the mountains rumble
Falling to our mighty army
Wrexham is the name.

Down the wings the ‘Reds’ are roaring,
to our greatest goal wer’e soaring.
Destiny we hear you calling
Wrexham is the name.

Chorus – Repeat 1st and 2nd Verses.

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

Thanks for that.

[overconvergent.livejournal.com]

This was sung at the session a few weeks ago; thanks for posting it!

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

My pleasure!