How To Get On In Society

[wellinghall]

Phone for the fish knives, Norman
As cook is a little unnerved;
You kiddies have crumpled the serviettes
And I must have things daintily served.

Are the requisites all in the toilet?
The frills round the cutlets can wait
Till the girl has replenished the cruets
And switched on the logs in the grate.

It's ever so close in the lounge dear,
But the vestibule's comfy for tea
And Howard is riding on horseback
So do come and take some with me

Now here is a fork for your pastries
And do use the couch for your feet;
I know that I wanted to ask you-
Is trifle sufficient for sweet?

Milk and then just as it comes dear?
I'm afraid the preserve's full of stones;
Beg pardon, I'm soiling the doileys
With afternoon tea-cakes and scones.

John Betjeman, http://famouspoetsandpoems.com/poets/john_betjeman/poems/785


And then there's The Frost Report:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mYY1QGK0jQ

Comments

[helflaed.livejournal.com]

I've often wondered who Betjeman was mocking more- the aspirational pseudo middle class lady in the poem, or the people ticking off each dreadful middle class vulgarity in a sort of Non-U bingo.

[bookwormsarah.livejournal.com]

I do love Betjeman. I read somewhere that this was written as part of a competition - readers had to write a final verse.