Hello!

[wellinghall]

I'm feeling cut-off ... no email, no Facebook, no access to anyone else's LJ ... and I'm going to be late home tonight because of a physio appointment! So please, make a comment - say hello, give me a wave, tell me a joke, tell me something to distract me, offer to mow the lawn - anything!

Comments

[segh.livejournal.com]

This joke needs to be read in an American accent.
Man in bar, observing an ex-girlfriend: Say, ain't that Hortense?
His friend: I dunno, she looks pretty laid back to me.

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks up and says, "Hey, is this some sort of joke?"

An attractive young woman walks up to a bar. She beckons the barman over, strokes his cheek, and says, "Is the owner in?" He says, "Sorry, miss, he isn't; can I help?"

She runs her fingers through his hair, and asks, "Well, is the manager in?" He replies, "I'm sorry, miss, he isn't; but are you sure I can't help?"

She runs her fingers through his beard, and whispers, "Wll, when they do come in, will you tell them something?" "Certainly, miss, what is it?"

"There's no paper in the ladies'."

[segh.livejournal.com]

Peter sends you a joke too.
"You know, it was digging for victory that really won the war - we dug right down to Australia and enlisted the Aussies."

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

What's the difference between an Aussie wedding and an Aussie funeral? There's one less drunk at the funeral.